Living Beyond the Points

This weekend, I am with our community in Dallas. Yesterday, Der Ghevond and I arrived early at St. Sarkis Church for the ACYOA youth game night. Before the others came, we picked up the ping-pong paddles and began to play. We didn’t keep score. We simply rallied the ball back and forth, enjoying the rhythm of the game.

As we played, I started thinking about the difference between playing to win and playing for joy. When you keep score, everything changes. Every point matters. Every mistake feels heavier. You are calculating, measuring, trying to stay ahead. There is focus and intensity.

There is value in that. Competition can strengthen you. It can teach discipline, perseverance, and resilience. Keeping score can help you grow. But if you keep score in every area of life, you will slowly lose your joy.

Some people turn their whole lives into a scoreboard. They measure who is ahead, who has more, who is more successful, and who is more recognized. Even in relationships, they keep a quiet tally. “I did this for you.” “You didn’t do that for me.” Back and forth, point by point.

That way of living is exhausting. Life was never meant to be lived only under pressure. When we were playing ping-pong and not keeping score, we were relaxed. We took risks. We laughed at our mistakes. The moment itself was the reward.

Children understand this instinctively. When they play, they do not ask about the score. They run. They laugh. They delight in being alive. Somewhere along the way, we start measuring everything — our careers, our homes, even our spiritual growth.

The Scripture reminds us: “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). When the Spirit of God fills your heart, you are free from the need to prove yourself. You are free from the anxiety of measuring up. You are free from the burden of always having to win.

In that freedom, you can rejoice in someone else’s success because you know your worth comes from being a child of God. You can forgive without keeping a list. You can give without expecting a return. You can serve without needing applause.

That is freedom.